H & H Assignment: Why and When to Start a Family

I have always wanted to be a mother.

I can remember being a child and playing with dolls constantly. When presented with the constant childhood question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" my answers would change from time to time, but the constant was I always included "I want to be a mother."

I always knew that the man I would marry would have to want to have kids. I felt this was important as it was something in my core that I knew I would only feel fulfilled if I was a mother. My hope was to have four children someday.

Brian and I married in June of 2002. I had always heard it is nice to have a year just as husband and wife. I also liked the idea, and we decided to start trying to begin our family almost exactly a year later. We were hoping for a "teacher baby" meaning due date in the later part of spring semester so I could take maternity leave and then have summer also to be with the baby. We started trying in June of 2003 and became pregnant right away and I "knew" before I officially knew that I was having a daughter. I just had a feeling, like that feeling that I knew I had to be a mother. I knew that my 1st born was going to be a daughter. We tossed around a few names, including calling her Mckinsey, but my heart was set on naming my child Grace. Grace is "our gift from God" and I truly felt that she was even before I met her.

When Grace was born I was just literally moved to tears. She was the most amazing, beautiful thing I had ever seen. I was so filled with love and joy. A deep sense of longing in my soul had been fulfilled with this gift God had given us- Grace.

Grace only a few days old

We talked quite a bit about when to have another baby, looking for that one perfect time spacing between kids. My brother and I are 4.5 years apart and I knew I wanted my kids closer than that, but didn't want them super close as I wanted to cherish each bit of the baby stages with each. We decided 2 and 1/2 years would be perfect and we got 2 years 3 months between Grace and her little brother Cian.

Brian loves Grace more than life, but I gotta say, there is something exciting for a man to see on an ultrasound that he is having a son. It may be the fact his name will carry on, or perhaps just a hope for a miniature soccer fan, but either way, he was excited.

Our 9 lbs. 13 oz "little" boy was born in November 2006.

My little guy in his 1st Ireland jersey

Our next little bundle of joy was Zoe. Cian got his name because we wanted a strong Irish name and both loved the name Cian. (We would have used it for Grace had she been a boy, lol!) Zoe, like Grace, got her name for what it means. Zoe's name means "life." We believe that we had been blessed by God with a third little life and that is what she was named. Side note- it definitely fits her, she is very full of life! Lol! I was very excited to hear that Zoe was a girl. I was glad to have one of each, but when we were going to have a 3rd I had hoped for another girl. 

After having both Grace and Cian, I was so terribly sad to have to go back to work. Being on maternity leave was a very happy time for me as I was with my other "babies" too! For Zoe, we were lucky to have her in January 2009 and I took off almost the whole semester from teaching. Zoe was a beautiful, sweet baby girl!

Zoe on her birth day

With three young children and us both working full time, we had our hands pretty full, but God knew our hearts had more love to give. When Zoe was 2 days away from being exactly 2 1/2 (Good one God, my perfect spacing- I get it, lol!), we had our little Ellison. She has been such a great blessing and joy. I cannot describe how important she is in our life. Having faith in God means trusting that He has a plan for you. He knew what our family needed and blessed us with her. She was our little catalyst for change. Instead of having 3 in daycare and working for a parochial teacher salary, her birth gave us the motivation to make a change. I decided to do what I have always longed for- become a stay-at-home mom and that allowed me the opportunity to homeschool. I count my blessings daily and thank God for my husband and the amazing children we have. I feel so lucky to be their mother.

Ellison in her little newborn outfit